Sherlock Holmes' versus Moriarty - the one person he spends immeasurable time and cortical activity trying to defeat and never seems to eradicate. This pretty much how I view my relationship with that evil force of nature, that which wreaks havoc on woodwork and metalwork alike - condensation. Not that I view myself as any sort of savant a la Holmes, but mostly from the frustrating, all consuming Sisyphean battle with the thermal properties of metal. Having just returned from a quick trip to Holland to meet with the owner and spend a somewhat chilly two nights aboard, I have come face to face again with my old nemesis and it throws up a few serious questions...

With chilly weather outside and the big, beautiful, brass portholes connected directly to the steel hull means that they end up being the same temperature as the hull. The warm moist air inside will end up condensing out around the cold spots with the end result being water dripping from the cold metal onto whatever is below (normally woodwork of some description).

We had this problem in our previous boat which had single glazed, metal framed windows - pretty much a perfect design for leeching heat and maximising condensation. This throws up an existential debate about whether you keep the original portholes/windows and try to live with and minimise the effects of the water, or to replace the original fixtures with new, double glazed and thermally broken items? It is a tough question. I would not want to see barges with PVC windows, but then again I know the problems original fittings can cause and more importantly the time and heartache (and money) it takes to set it right. This doesn't even take into account the potential health implications of mould and allergies etc.

I think the plan will be to fit replacement 15" portholes from Wesley Windows (other porthole manufacturers are available) which come in at about £200 for fixed or £238 for a porthole with an opening segment. There are bigger 18" fixed which are about £10 more expensive and they come in a variety of powder coated colours or bright/satin metal finish (see photo below).

As much as I love the authentic look of the brass portholes, they are 19th century technology and were fine for the 19th century or for a work boat, but if we are going to live on it permanently my gut feeling would be to change them. I will be keep them initially as I have plans to incorporate them in the internal doors for the bedrooms and bathroom.

Another element which I have planned into the fabric of the boat is a heat exchanger. For those who are interested I have settled on the VTC LowE, 2 bed system. It has a maximum power draw of 70W but will idle at about 30W, so hardly a huge demand. It has a maximum of 4 extraction points and 4 inlets and will hopefully minimise any cold air 'pools' which we suffered from in our previous boat, especially under beds, sofas and in wardrobe areas. I have yet to plan exactly where the air ducting will go, but most likely sub floor as much as possible. It does create problems for the extraction points as the low profile ducting is still 50mm deep (the planned depth of the spray foam) and the extraction needs to be in the ceiling to catch the warm moist air. How exactly I achieve this I am unsure but I can run the ducting in the stud wall partitions which keeps them away from the spray foam and just a short length along the ceiling. Since we have more head height in the living area than we know what to do with this shouldn't cause too many problems and will avoid thin areas of spray foam insulation on the sides of the hull. No doubt I will put a plan up as and when I have removed the contents from the main cargo hold and had a good head scratch.

I spent a few hours just walking around the main living area (as is) just trying to think my way around problems and work out in my head where things are going to go. A quick pic below shows the saloon.

The engine room directly below the wheelhouse isn't super spacious and annoyingly there are some patches of rust in places which have been left and have now started to flake. Fortunately it's on nothing too vital but will need care to ensure when I get rid of it the flakes don't fall anywhere they could get ingested into machinery.

Other stuff I learnt in no particular order:

Eurotunnel vs ferry. Not much difference in terms of time or cost (considering the 4 hour drive from Calais to Elburg). The only upside to the ferry is you get the time to sit on your backside and read or work rather than staring at the delights of French/Belgian/Dutch motorways. On the flip side, if the weather is bad you are unlikely to see your breakfast again on the Eurotunnel.

The central heating in the boat is obviously powered by a small, asthmatic hamster. Not helped by routing the uninsulated central heating pipes the whole length of the barge in the bilge. I am sure there are rodents sitting around in small towels pouring small cups of water on the pipes and steaming their little rodent bits off in the bilge space, but in the Skipper's cabin at the rear it was more Swedish winter than sauna.

I am now connected whilst in country via a Lebarra freebie sim. You can top up with data and calls separately and the tokens last a year (apparently). Seems pretty good reception so far and for the 6 months I am out there seems to be a handy fix.

The mooring has a land power connection so I will be taking an oil radiator or fan heater with me next time to keep the icicles off my unmentionables. The asthmatic hamster will still be press ganged into work for the hot water but only when I need it...

One of our distant neighbours in Elburg. Size matters with boats. Obviously...