So, Wednesday I dashed to see my power systems guys, back to pack the rest of the car, up to see the dentist for an oral MoT, drop the girlfriend off at the station and then straight to Harwich to catch the overnight ferry to Holland, drive to Elburg and then commence with destruction. I mean, full on, hammers and chisels destruction. However, as Bagheera from the Jungle Book sagely put it, “This will take brains, not brawn”. Fortunately I am endowed with a modicum of both so things are looking up.

The end of my first day and I celebrated with a well deserved beer in the wheelhouse watching the sun go down...

At the front of the barge are 3 bedrooms and a small bathroom. The first objective is to remove all the excess rubbish (mattresses, pillows etc) and deconstruct the beds then move onto the walls and ceiling and remove the wood panelling and insulation.

At this stage it is worth noting that with only having owned 2 barges in my life I have pretty much come to the conclusion that rules for refitting are thus:

1 - Estimate the size of screw/cross member etc to safely fulfil the task required of it.
2 - Double it, just to be sure.
3 - Assume wherever it is, it will be subjected to an annual stress testing by a herd of male rutting wildebeest on crack and must be able to withstand this so up the size to cope.
4 - Add a bit more just to be sure

Et voila. You have the rules for all construction in barges. Why use a 2” screw which is perfect for the job when a 4” one is bound to help. In the small double beds I pulled out a pine cross member which must have been 3” x 6” and had been screwed in place with dozens of (big) screws. If nuclear armaggedon had occurred the hull would have been melted away and a pair of wooden double beds in a pool of melted steel is all that would have remained.

To say this hindered my efforts is an understatement. That said, one quick trip to the local Dutch equivalent of B&Q and a Black and Decker oscillating/vibrating saw thingy later and we are cutting through stuff like a 300W vibrating oscillating saw thingy through moist french baguettes. As much as I would like to give the “Tool of the Week” award to Donald Trump, it has to go to this little beauty as it has made life far easier than it would have been otherwise. The bedroom after my efforts is seen below.

My second hand Stanley “Fat Max” 18V cordless drill is also a contender for the title and has been well worth the £60 from Gumtree. 2 batteries means no pause in the destruction and it hasn’t skipped a beat. Apparently (from the kitchen fitter from whom I purchased said item) this brand is the same spec as DeWalt, just under a different brand. Seems to be well made with a metal chuck and has handled everything so far.

One minor snafu has been the water and heating runs. The water cold water pipes running to the small sink in each room are (bizarrely) 12mm copper pipe rather than 10/15mm and the local hardware store does not have plastic push fit. This means the delights of PTFE tape and compression fittings which are just such a massive ache in the nether regions. I am a huge fan of push fit polypipe stuff. Flexible, quick and easy and no faffing with compression olives or worse yet a blow torch and solder in an environment with lots of wood (yeah, health and safety nightmare right there). In a fit of pique I managed to remove a 4” square bed support which moved a couple of the central heating pipes. One is now weeping slightly so tomorrow’s job will be to isolate that arm of the heating, cut through the pipe and cap it. Fortunately I had the foresight to bring a few 15mm push fit end stops so it shouldn’t be too much of a shocker (famous last words).

Due to the central heating being somewhat asthmatic and all pipes unlagged, I brought an oil filled panel heater with me for the skipper’s quarters. No good. Just not able to heat the place quick enough during tea breaks between destructive creation. Again, the local hardware store came up trumps with a 2kW fan heater. Bliss. It has been sleeting all day today and looks like it’s set for the next few days so that has been purchase of the trip so far.

Other tips from the first couple of days.

Gloves - buy a decent pair of (insulated) rigger gloves. They have saved me from the worst that splinters etc have thrown at me and the odd ‘swing and a miss’ with a hammer.
Face mask - I had one tucked away in one of my boxes of tools (courtesy of my amazing g/f who thought I might need it - kudos LJ - you can wing yourself for that) and has saved my lungs. Event though there is not much sawing going on, the dust is horrendous and I am just starting to get my hand son the rockwool insulation now. I am pretty sure it is safe but you can’t be sure. Definitely wear one if you are ‘deconstructing’.
Led Zeppelin - THE best music to break stuff to. That or AC/DC. Just be careful not to get carried away. I think I nearly pulled the central heating runs out to “Rock or Bust”...

Well, after 2 days I can see the hull at last. It seems to be in pretty good condition. No huge flaky, scaly bits of rust as you can see. The Rockwool had been kept away from the hull by the wire grid which has done the job. There is still surface rust but a quick run over it with an angle grinder and wire brush, coat of Vactan and then iron oxide primer should do the job, but that’s for another trip out here.

Tonight will mostly be spent writing my MSc dissertation scoping document which is already 2 days late. Yay....